Health Issues

After the Show: Audrey

posted: 02/28/13
Read more Read less
Audrey is addicted to her stuffed lamb.

What is the status of your addiction today?

I have cut down on my addiction to the lamb. After the shoot, I took a weekend trip to Long Beach and did not bring my lamb along. It was hard for me, but I am currently house-sitting for 4 days and did not bring my lamb along on purpose. It has been tough, mostly at night as that is the time I heavily rely on it. I would say I've cut my addiction down significantly. I still do bring the lamb around out to dinner, on trips. But I try not to bring it if I am feeling in a stable headspace. Lately, I have been feeling very positive and grounded. Therefore, I've found myself not needing to grab my lamb as often.

How did being on the show and going to therapy help you in terms of dealing with your addiction?

Being on the show was a wakeup call. I had been wanting the therapist and my friends to tell me that the lamb was cute, that I didn't have a problem. I did not want to hear that this was in fact an addiction. Because now it is this actual problem I have to face and overcome. Before it was just this cute lamb that I knew I was attached to but I didn't think was harming me. That is the way I idealized it in my own head. There was only one thing the therapist said that stuck out to me. She told me that if I continued to live my life this way, I would start isolating myself with the lamb. The lamb would become my only relationship because the more people disappointed me, the more I would rely on the lamb. That was a very profound and cathartic moment for me because I could see myself heading down that path if I didn't change my behavior. I have not been back to therapy, but have been continuing to write down my fears pen to paper everyday upon awakening. This process helps me sort out my feelings and brings me a sense of relief. It is very healing for me because when I see the fears on paper, they are a lot smaller than they are in my head. When I read them allowed, the process enables me to release them. I do write a few things about the lamb during that activity everyday. I guess this is not a professional form of therapy, but it has allowed me to cut down my time spent with the lamb significantly.

Currently, what steps are you taking to curb your addiction?

The steps I have taken to curb my addiction are making my bed and hiding the lamb so I can't see it before I need to leave for the day. When it is out of my sight, I do not long for it as much. As I explained above, I have been doing the activity of writing down my fears. I think fear is the underlying problem and that fear is why I have an addiction to this lamb. The lamb helps me cope with my fears. But when I can see my fears and read them to another person and talk about it, I do not need to rely on petting the lamb for decompression from a bad day, or whatever. I think that working on my relationships has also helped me to curb my addiction. I have been making an effort to keep in touch better with friends and to text/talk on the phone more than I used to. This is something that I started doing as a result of the therapists concern for me and her prediction that I could start isolating myself. Focusing on relationships with my friends and family has really helped me pull out of my old habits.

Do you have any words of advice for other people dealing with addictions?

My advice for people dealing with addiction is two-fold. The first is very cliche. Don't try to deal with it by yourself. Reach out and let people know what you are going through. It can be hard to admit you need help. You might think you can fix it yourself, but I have tried that and it has not worked well for me. My other piece of advice is to try writing down your fears pen to paper. It's almost like a journal activity that helps you to understand what might be causing your behavior and under what circumstances you rely on your addictive behavior more than others. Fear is always the underlying cause of any addiction, in my opinion. It is a VERY hard thing to overcome because these fears are always deep-seeded beliefs. Meditation can also be very helpful. Take a class in transcendental meditation from someone trained in that field. It was the best money I have ever spent and I can't recommend it highly enough.

More on
Recommended for You