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Why Girlfriends Are Essential To Motherhood

posted: 11/03/16
by: Katherine Sosnoff
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I recently read an article about a stay-at-home-mom who was resigning herself to the fact that some of her friendships would be on hold for awhile as she navigated mothering two littles under the age of six. While I get the crux of her argument - priorities change, and as our children depend on us for so much, friendships can be tougher to maintain - I have to disagree with the idea that friendships have to fall by the wayside when you become a mother. In fact, I feel like I value my friendships now more than ever.

Don't get me wrong; so much changes when you have a kid, and your social life is no exception. When my son was first born, I could barely finish dinner without face-planting into my food, so needless to say, girls' nights out were out of the question for me for a little bit. Between breastfeeding, poor sleeping habits, separation anxiety, childcare woes, and everything else in between, getting time out of the house with friends was difficult for me to navigate at first. Even finding time for a phone conversation (or a text, on some days) can be a tough, but that in itself tells me that it is incredibly important to find the time for it. All the reasons that it's can be tough to find time for friendships are the reasons you need to find time for friendships; because so much changes when you become a mom, connecting with the people who support you and make you happy is one thing that shouldn't.

That's because motherhood can be a lonely proposition, and if you don't lean on your friends, it's easy to get lost in it. You're facing an entirely new chapter of life with different challenges, and whether your close friends are also moms or not, you're going to have days when you need your cheering section more than ever.

It's easy to feel that crazy mom guilt; that we're 'bad' moms for not wanting to spend every second with our kids or for needing a release that doesn't include listening to The Wiggles for the 800th time. But my word of advice to all new moms? Make time for your friends. No, you probably won't be grabbing mani-pedis every Saturday morning after a long brunch like you used to - and that's ok. Friendships, like everything in life, evolve, but making sure you take the time to nurture those friendships and maintain those relationships in your life can mean all the difference and make you a better, happier mama.