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This Woman Took a Year Off Her Marriage — Would You?

posted: 05/15/15
by: Mara Betsch
divorce
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Would you benefit from a year off your marriage?
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Anyone who's married will tell you that you'll have highs and lows, times when you love your partner more than life itself and times where you wouldn't mind if he or she went to Timbuktu.

But what if marriages came with a time-out? A chance for you to hit pause on your relationship, get things off your chest, explore opportunities you wouldn't be able to with you spouse and reassess what you want.

Robin Rinaldi, a magazine journalist in San Francisco, did just that -- and wrote about it in her book "The Wild Oats Project."

Though her reason for wanting a break from her marriage is controversial, most women will probably be able to relate to her on some level. When Rinaldi met her husband Scott, she wasn't sure she wanted to be a mom, but he decidedly didn't want to be a dad. When she came to the conclusion she wanted to have a child, Scott held his ground. He got a vasectomy and she asked for an open marriage: "I refuse to go to my grave with no children and only four lovers," she declares. "If I can't have one, I must have the other." You'll have to read the book to get all the details, but the bottom line is this exploration didn't save her marriage.

This is an extreme case -- most of you probably aren't interested in an open marriage -- but it does make you think of the compromises you've made with your spouse over the years. Maybe you gave up a job you loved to relocate for his? Maybe he quit going on his adventurous boy's trips so he wouldn't leave you at home alone with the kids. Marriages are built on this give-and-take, but what if you had a free pass to do what you wanted for a year, knowing you'd come back to your spouse and family?

Would you take it? And what would you do with your time?