The #1 Secret to Having a Healthy Relationship

posted: 04/16/18
by: Kristine Boyd

When looking at the news, we see couples breaking up, getting back together, getting married and divorcing all in a span of a few weeks. With all the madness going on, we can't help but wonder what actually makes a relationship work. If you have ever read an article about relationships you have probably seen communication, compromise, romance, etc. as the key factors to a great relationship. While all these are great aspects of a healthy love life, we are wondering if there is something even deeper than this.

After reading numerous relationship articles, it's clear to see the common trend of what works. However, something not everyone talks about is putting yourself first in order to make your relationship work. We hear all the time that when you are in a relationship, you have to put the other person first. However, after you do that for a long time, it can be easy to become resentful of your partner. You can start pointing fingers and pinning blame on them as the reason you never get to do the things that make you happy. If you are always putting someone else first, you will think of them as the reason the relationship isn't working out.

A simple example is skipping the gym to go run a few errands for your partner. This happening once is completely fine. But when this happens consistently, you are then putting something you enjoy doing on the back burner for someone else's needs. While, it is essential to put your partner first sometimes, it shouldn't be a regular thing because you will start to lose yourself.

A common misconception is that couples should want to do everything together. But it is actually really healthy to have separate hobbies that you like to do alone. If both people in the relationship have their separate goals and hobbies they enjoy, not only will it keep their sanity, but it will keep the relationship in a good place. Too much time spent together can be a driving force in frustration and annoyance with your partner. So, find a time every day to do something you love by yourself. You will find that this relieves stress and allows you to be more present in your relationship.

The bottom line is that, while it's great to do things for your partner, never forget to take time to do things for yourself. Finding respect for each other's goals, aspirations and hobbies will only make your relationship thrive. So, find something you love, do it often and never be afraid to put yourself first.