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Married Couples: Having More Sex Won’t Necessarily Make You Happier

posted: 06/16/15
by: Mara Betsch
couple in bed cuddling sex
iStock

Sex after marriage is a hot topic -- some couples report their once-hot sex lives falling off a cliff while couples married for 20+ years report knocking boots just as often as they did as newlyweds.

There are some people who are completely OK with a lagging libido, but for those trying to get their bedroom mojo back, there are 30-day and 365-day sex challenges, apps to tell you when to have sex, and unlimited, and perhaps unsolicited, advice from every media outlet.

But if you're hoping that ramping up your sex life will lead to overall bliss, a new study found that simply having sex more frequently won't exactly turn your frown upside down.

If that sets off a record scratch in your brain, you're not alone. My immediate thought was How can having more sex NOT put you in a better mood?

Previous research found a strong correlation between how often couples had sex and their overall happiness, yet this particular study did things a bit differently. Researchers recruited 64 straight couples ages 35-65 who has sex anywhere from three times a week to once a month. The couples were then divided into two groups; one group kept their sex habits the same and the other doubled the amount of sex they were having.

Surprisingly, people in the group having more sex reported feeling less happy overall, less happy with their sex lives, and less interested in sex. And, worst of all, the couples felt out of synch.

The researchers speculated that maybe happy people tend to have more sex. Though I can't speak for the couples themselves, I think that making sex a obligation transforms it from a fun way to connect with your spouse to, well, yet another thing to cross off your to-do list. If you're satisfied with a quick cuddle and goodnight kiss, then so be it. As this study proves, making sex a required part of the evening doesn't mean you're going to ride the rush of endorphins for the rest of the week.

It seems that the right amount of sex for your relationship -- whether it's once a day or once a week -- is the amount that makes you and your partner feel satisfied.