‘I Don’t Change Diapers’: One Mom’s Real Talk About Parenting

posted: 02/09/16
by: Kristina Wilson
picture of kristina wilson of rattled

Kristina and Jason

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Type A couple Kristina & Jason craft a meticulous birth plan, but wonder how they are going to work while raising baby.

I don't change diapers. I mean it, I don't change diapers. This is not because I don't know how or that I am too grossed out by it or anything. The reason I don't change diapers is because when it comes to raising our son my husband and I are splitting our tasks 50/50 -- and diapers are his domain. Now if you happen to see this in action, it will certainly catch you off guard. We will be at a family gathering and I will be on the floor playing with Lincoln when I realize that he needs a change. I will pick Lincoln up and take his over to Jason (who is most likely in the other room watching TV with the other dads) and I will say, "he needs a change." I will make Jason get up from what ever it is that he is doing, if there is a diaper situation. I am not ashamed of this and I certainly feel no guilt.

Like I said, I don't change diapers. I am in charge of inputs. I am the one in charge of all of the breastfeeding and pumping. And during the first 6 months of Lincoln's life when I was exclusively breastfeeding, there were numerous times when crying would begin and Jason would put a baby in my lap and proclaim "he's hungry" and I had to stop what I was doing to feed. And so we decided if I had no choice but to always be in charge of the boob, then Jason was going to have no choice other than to always be in charge of the butt.

This arrangement is certainly a far cry from childrearing of days of old. I would bet that even with three children, my grandfather changed less than 10 diapers in his life. But today parenting has changed. Today there is no "standard" way to divide the duties and there is certainly to "typical" family. So here is the division of labor in our family:




Cooking kid-friendly lunches and dinners

Feeding dinner

Ordering clothes and rotating the sizes as needed

Prepping daily food for caregivers

Afternoon caregiver exchange

Bedtime routine


Diaper changing

Cleaning pumping supplies

Cleaning kitchen

Cooking and feeding breakfast

Dressing the baby


Morning caregiver exchange

Bathtime routine

Shared Responsibilities




Admittedly, this has not solved all of the new baby bickering, but it has certainly helped. For us, knowing who has ownership of what really makes our days smoother and allows us more time to focus on our son. Rock, paper, scissors for potty training anyone?

Kristina Wilson is the CEO of the innovative childcare agency, Sitters Studio. She lives in New York City with her husband and son, Lincoln. They all can be seen Tuesday nights on TLC's new series, "Rattled."