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Give Your Relationship a Boost: 5 TED Talks on Relationship Advice

posted: 04/06/17
by: Katie Morton

Believe it or not, there's a science to love--and unfortunately, it wasn't something that was covered in ninth grade biology class. Creating a long-lasting, healthy relationship takes dedication, hard work, and a few laughs from time to time.

By focusing on things like becoming a better listening, keeping that spark alive, or being more vulnerable, you can strengthen the bond you have with your partner. Here are 5 inspiring TED Talks with great advice to help you improve your relationship.

Tip 1: Decide That Marriage Is Worth It

Writer Jenna McCarthy gives advice on surviving a long marriage. Jenna's talk is funny and informative, and her observations are insightful. She explains it's the little things that count, like having a positive outlook on life or a husband that helps out with the housework. For a good laugh and some solid advice, watch "What you don't know about marriage" by Jenna McCarthy.

Tip 2: Learn How to Keep the Spark Alive

In her TED talk, relationship therapist Esther Perel poses the million-dollar question: Can we want what we already have? Or, in terms of human love, how do you keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship? Esther explains that desire stems from two basic human needs--the need for security and the need for mystery. Listen to Esther's talk and learn how to balance these two contradictory needs in your relationship. Watch "The secret to desire in a long term relationship" by Esther Perel.

Tip 3: Understand the Science Behind Human Love

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher seeks to explain love. It's not an easy subject. As she explains, "human beings have been wondering about this question since they sat around their campfires or lay and watched the stars a million years ago." Through studying literature and behavioral responses in humans, Helen classifies human love into three brain systems: the sex drive, romantic love, and attachment. Learn more about these brain systems in Helen Fisher's TED talk, "Why we love, why we cheat."

Tip 4: Be Vulnerable

Many of our conflicts in relationships come from our own inner shame. How do you diffuse shame immediately? Researcher and storyteller Brene Brown explains how being vulnerable can shine a light on our shame. "The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection," she explains. By sharing your fears, your shame, with others, you become vulnerable. As Brene explains, "vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love." Watch "The Power of Vulnerability," by Brene Brown.

Tip 5: Listen Better

As human beings, we just want to be heard. However, according to sound and communication expert Julian Treasure, we are not very good at listening. We retain only about 25 per cent of what we hear. Julian gives some tips to get rid of impatience, improve recognition, and retain what it is that your partner is communicating. Watch "5 ways to listen better" by Julian Treasure.