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4 Things Monogamous Couples Can Learn from Polygamists

posted: 09/11/15
by: Courtney Reimer
cody brown and his sister wives
DCL

Ask anyone in a monogamous relationship if they think they could learn anything from a polygamist, and they'll probably look at you like you're silly. What could a marriage between two people have in common with plural marriage? According to the wives and husband from TLC's "Sister Wives," probably more than you think.

They might be onto something. Some of the things these polygamists have pointed out as helping to strengthen their marriage:

1. You have a built in support system. How many among us haven't wished we could be in two places at once? Say it's time to pick your son up from one extracurricular activity when your daughter needs to be at another. Or perhaps you forgot you have to work late and it's your turn to make dinner. How nice would it be to have four other moms at your disposal to call on for help? Lesson for monogamists: you might have some friends you can call on for help, even if they're not your sister wife.

2. You learn how to control jealous feelings. You might not have to share your husband with four other woman, but the concept of a "work wife" has become increasingly accepted, and men and women are often friends in this day and age. Jealousy can be a natural reaction to that, but perhaps it's okay to learn that your husband can have other relationships (even platonic ones) while still loving and being dedicated to you.

3. You're forced to really think through your issues with your spouse. When you have to consider the feelings of four other women in an argument, it forces you to slow down and consider the best course of action or reaction. Not a bad concept to follow even in a monogamous relationship.

4. You learn the value of teamwork. Much as you have more wives at your disposal (more or less), you also have the children of those wives at your disposal (more or less). Moving into a new home (or in the Browns' case, homes)? You have several more pairs of hands to help get you settled in. Again, don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family (wives notwithstanding) if you need it. Turns out people usually respond well to being part of a team.

Polygamy & Plural Marriage: How Does It Compare to Monogamy?

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The Browns from TLC's "Sister Wives" talk about the similarities and differences between monogamist and polygamist marriages.